SAVE MARNO'S FACE!
Thinking about contributing to the Old Man of the Mountain Legacy Fund?
The group that wants to give the ol' Live Free or Die state's granite icon a facelift?
Save Your skrilla and hand it over to the MARNO NEEDS RE-NUTRIV NOW! fund.
The Old Man of the Mountain, before and after the tragic geologic mishap.
(Sure, when an old MAN needs a facelift, it's a historic landmark crisis!)
What's So Great About Re-Nutriv????
That's what I thought too...back in the 80s! ...when my skin was flawless, then again, what did I know?I was seen in public looking like this---
Bad Hair is Reversible but years of doing flaming shots of 151 while killing a pack of Salem Ultra Light 100s in in one evening can only be undone by one Hydrating, Renewing, Other Worldly Cream:
Retail price for one jar: $250.00. Seem a bit PRICEY? read on...
Back in the day when I thought nothing of SLEEPING IN MY MAKEUP (don't do it girls! it's like dousing your hair with Sun-In before a big date: you will live to regret it!) a dear friend gave me a sample of Re-Nutriv...the body cream. I dabbed a few precious dollops onto my thighs and (cue the horn section:) it was like having someone else's legs!
Someone who did cardio! Who didn't smoke home grown! Someone from a less polluted gene pool..
I never forgot how that cream felt...if it could do that for my legs think of what it could do for my face!
So now I'm asking my fans, both glam and plain--even my closest frenemies--to contribute to the MARNO NEEDS RE-NUTRIV NOW! fund.
Carolyn Murphy? Once I get my coveted jar your days as spokesmodel for Re-Nutriv will be numbered!!
Shamelessly Photoshopped Waif Glampoet now willing to be seen in daylight hours!
CREAM ON GIRLS!